


Duvets

by SilverMyfanwy



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Men Crying, Trans Character, Trans Gwaine (Merlin), Trans Male Character, trans author
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25049908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverMyfanwy/pseuds/SilverMyfanwy
Summary: Gwaine's got two secrets. One is the engagement ring in the wardrobe. The other threatens to blow all his chances of engagement out the window. That's what he thinks, anyway.(Gwaine's trans and he hasn't told Merlin yet. He's expecting the worst.)
Relationships: Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 144





	Duvets

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. Context. Gwaine is trans, he and Merlin are in a long term relationship, Merlin doesn't know Gwaine is trans.  
> Warnings for I think a bit of internalised transphobia and fearing a partner won't accept you after coming out. And Gwaine uses the word 'vagina' to describe his genitalia.

“There’s something you need to see.” Gwaine said quietly. He pulled his shirt off with his gaze fixed firmly on the duvet. He swallowed.

“Oh.” Merlin said softly.

Gwaine didn’t look up.

“Oh.”

“You got anything else to say?” Gwaine said, voice hoarse.

Merlin reached his hands out tentatively. “Can I?”

Gwaine nodded and watched as Merlin ran his hands over the scars across his chest.

“I-” Merlin rocked back onto his heels and Gwaine let a shuddery breath out.

“I was too scared to tell you.” Gwaine pulled away, whispered. “I didn’t-”

Merlin leaned forwards to kiss him.

Gwaine pulled away, crying. “You don’t- hate me, then?”

Merlin started to cry with him, exactly why for there wasn't an answer. He was sad, upset, scared, sympathetic, agonised. “No. Never. I love you more than any man I’ve ever met. I would never hate you for something like this.”

“Then why are you crying?” Gwaine whispered hoarsely.

“Because I understand so much now.” Merlin said aimlessly, running his hands over the sheets. “Why- if you had your top off you kept your back to me and you put it back on as quickly as possible. You kept in on in heat waves, at the beach, only- only did it with it on, or when it was dark, why it was only mouths and your fingers- oh Gwaine. It must have hurt so much.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Gwaine whispered.

“Why didn’t you?”

“I didn’t want to loose you.”

  
“I love you no differently. I know you are braver than I thought. I-”

“Does this change anything?”

“Yes. You are different to me and the same. I know now that I should never have pushed for anything the way I did before. Now I know why you-”

“I want to have sex with you. I’ve always wanted to have sex with you. I just-” Gwaine hung his head. “No one ever tells you how to tell your boyfriend, who thinks you’re a cis man, that you have a vagina.”

  
Merlin leant forwards and hugged Gwaine. “Doesn’t change how I feel about you. Or what I want to do with you. I just guess it changes how.” he sighed. "The showering, the swimming, I should have noticed."

“You did.” Gwaine reminded him quietly. “You noticed that I was uncomfortable about my chest, so you never asked me to take my top off. You turned your back, you didn’t look.”

“But I asked to.” Merlin hung his head.

“Twice. Months ago before we knew each other properly.” Gwaine said softly. “And you were slightly drunk.”

“That doesn’t excuse what I said!”

Gwaine chuckled and raised his eyebrows. “Remember all the things I’ve said while drunk? Repeatedly? On many occasions?”

“True.”

  
“I think your two advances are forgivable.” Gwaine murmured and prssed his forehead against Merlin’s. “Can you forgive me for not telling you?”

  
“I don’t think there is anything to forgive.” Merlin kissed Gwaine. “Nothing at all.”

“Marry me.”

Merlin jolted back. “What?”

  
“Marry me. I was going to ask you properly with a ring and dinner and stuff. I had it all planned out. But I wanted to ask you now more.”

  
“Are you sure?” Merlin’s face had lit up and he laced his fingers with Gwaine’s.

“Of course I’m sure.” Gwaine kissed Merlin’s cheek. “Take me as your husband. Become my husband.”

“As long as I still get a proper proposal next week. I need something better to tell Gwen and m mum than ‘my boyfriend told me he was trans and then we cried and he asked me to marry him’.”

Gwaine nodded. “Mm, yeah.” his face split into the biggest grin Merlin had ever seen him wear. “You want to marry me!”

They laughed and Merlin gave Gwaine a gentle shove so he fell back on the bed; Merlin fell next to him and they tangled their legs together. “Of course I want to marry you. Do you- do you want your t-shirt back?”

Gwaine shook his head, smiling. “Now you know, I’m gonna be shirtless so much you’ll get sick of it.”

Merlin raised his eyebrows. “You spend enough time looking at yourself in the mirror. There’s no way you aven’t realised how glorious your abs are.”

“They truly are wonderful.” Gwaine nodded sagely. “As are my biceps, you seen them too?”

“Believe me, I am looking very hard.” Merlin ran his hands over them. “You are gorgeous.”

“So are you.” Gwaine whispered. “Look even more gorgeous when I get that ring on you.”

“Can I get you a ring?” Merlin asked hopefully.

“If you want.”

Merlin smiled. “Wait here.” he scrambled out of bed.

“Where are you going?” Gwaine sat up and watched as Merlin left the room, retrieving his scocks and his sweatshirt- not really his, it had been commandeered from Gwaine- on the way.

“To get something!” Merlin called over his shoulder, then vanished from sight.

Gwaine got out of bed and walked over ot the wardrobe, where he'd hidden the ring box at the bottom of his rucksack. He pulled it out and smiled at it for a moment before going to the doorway. “Merlin?”

Merlin walked into the corridor from the hallways and got down on one knee, beaming holding oanother open ring box in his hand.

“You’re joking.”

Merlin smiled. “Nope. And I’ve got a speech.”

“Now this I want to hear.” Gwaine smirked and leaned agains the wall, then wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

“You are the strongest man I know." Merlin began “I’ve loved you for a very lng time and I’ve known or almost as long that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you do me the honour of becoming my husband?”

Gwaine walked over to Merlin and leaned down to kiss him. “Yes.”

  
Merlin got to his feet and kissed Gwaine again. “Would've been a bit weird if you’d said no given that you already proposed to me.”

Gwaine smiled. “You want his?” he held out the ring he’d got for Merlin.

They exchanged rings then and there.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm silvermyfanwy on Tumblr! Come say hi!


End file.
